In my previous article, we are talking about how to be realistic in life, we try to distinguish a dream from a reality. A dream is something we don\'t have yet, a reality is something we already have. There is a clear difference between the two - what we don\'t have versus what we have. There is a clear difference with regard to impact - the benefits and the negative consequences. In business, we want to be realistic because we want to reap the actual benefits (profit) and we want to defer the negative consequences (for instance: those arising from debts). In business, to be realistic means we know how to measure it, using specific measurement units. Both profit and debts are stated in currency denominations (Rupiah), from which we can derive conclusion if the company is in a good condition (profitable, positive balance) or in a bad shape (in debts, negative balance). Then we need to know the specific dates on which we are going to receive income (getting it into our bank accounts), as well a knowing the due date for paying outstanding debts. Business success requires the ability to balance the two - money in and money out.
In daily life, it is also important to use the same approach. We need to set our goals in specific terms. Problems in specifying goals lead to problems in achieving them. However, a question might arise: Why do we have to be so specific in daily life, when we are not doing business after all? The answer will be, it is even more important to be specific in daily life because, hard to believe, we spend the majority of our time outside work (please also count weekends, holidays and vacations in addition to the off-hours). Therefore, our happiness strongly depends on the way we carry out our daily life. Nevertheless, since it is not in a business setting, people have the tendency not to take it seriously.
Why do we have to take the daily life seriously? We have to take our daily life seriously exactly because people have the tendency not to take it seriously. In business, we have a system in place to keep people in working order, which, if not done properly, will bring harsh consequences. For instance, problem employees will be fired or companies offering bad service will lose customers. Such a mechanism is not available in personal lives. There is much less control in our personal lives because there is no punishment. A lot of times misbehavior, if we want to call it that way, goes unnoticed. The only way to have a good life is to have self control - control has to come from within, because no one will punish us for our laziness or excuses.
Yes, no one will punish us for being lazy or making excuses. Success or failure solely belongs to our own. However, as much as people will not punish us, we like to punish ourselves for our failures. Worse still, self-punishment can be harsh and even harsher as it is instilled within and follows us around day or night, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. People don\'t like to fail and they beat themselves hard for failing, but they cannot explain why they fail. Meanwhile, dealing with disappointments can go a long way. Frustrated people can easily channel it out on others or on other things - they can either be violent or depressive, even resort to drugs or other means to escape. Some others can be detached from reality or delusional while the rest live with too much hopes and wishes.
Ability to distinguish between "what we have" and "what we don\'t have" helps us stay in perspective and deal with disappointments more effectively. We are disappointed because we "don\'t have" what we want yet. But can we explain why we don\'t have it yet? Is it possible that we already have it but not 100% yet? Have we taken enough actions to accomplish the goal? Remember, no one will punish us if we don\'t take the steps, so we have to take our own measures to make it happen. Or may be we already take the steps but only accomplish 70%, which is something we have to acknowledge anyway. We will get what we want but it takes time. That\'s why we need to manage our time and resources, and see what we can do to increase the likelihood of success - just like what we do in business.
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